by Lena for group happygarden |
At first I was in a state of denial but when I tried on an old-formal-slacks and found that it was 2 inches short for its ends to meet no matter how much i pull, I finally conceded. I am fat!
Where did all the excess fat, weight, poundage, come from? When? Five years of no exercise, tons of junk food, 912.5 kilos of rice ( that's half a kilo a day for 5 years ) added milligram per milligram, that progressed to gram, then to kilogram per kilogram to my body mass. ( Yes, I use metric, for the English system has been replaced since the 70's )
I used to maintain a weight of 98-105 lbs. (Hahaha. I use pounds here for it's easier to visualize lbs than kilos. I could have used metric and it would have read like this: I used to weigh 44.4545 -47.7272 kilos... no impact). My daily physical activities then usually consisted of aero/gym, jogging, tennis and ballroom dancing. I was freaking fit!
I was so fit I used to get all the gold medals in the annual Rotary Olympics.I was so fit I joined aero marathons. I was so fit I was able to run after my husband's pick-up truck, climbed up the back, pry open the sun roof, got hold of my husband's hair and that of his companion, bonked their heads together, and lived happily ever after.
I must weigh about 54 kilos now (120 lbs). I do not want to be fat. i don't feel healthy.I do not want to pass the half century mark in Metric and the century mark in the English. What to do?!
There's this famous person (I forgot who) who said that it is alright to be overweight as long as you feel comfortable and confident being in that state. Crap to the max!! How can one feel comfortable if you have layers of you stomach all bunched-up somewhere in the vicinity of your "supposed" lower abs? How can you feel confident if your silhouette looks like a top or a pear?
If you are cozy and positive with your present weight and at this very moment believes that you are the essence of gorgeousness and healthiness, then, good for you. I just hope that what you feel is how you look.
I just trust that you are not one of those who insist on wearing tight-body-hugging shirts and butt-wedging shorts or uber-short-skirts. Nothing wrong, actually, in wearing these types, as long as you are not related to Heimlich. (You don't know Heimlich?)
My ideal body weight, counting height and body built, is 98 - 110 lbs. There were times that my weight plummeted to 96 lbs from my usual 103 lbs. ( Major contributing factor for the weight loss: stress; not advisable)
I admire those who despite their inadequacies ( read: being overweight ) are confident and happy with themselves. Kudos to you! As for me, I will continue to rant about my excess mass. I will envision that I can lose the excesses and be a 98 lb-tonemuscled-unlinedface grandma!
What?!...... I can dream, can't I?
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